cheating is fun

Do men cheat on their partners? Even attractive ones? Do apples fall off trees? Do the sun and moon not do their daily thing...alright... a slight exaggeration here... but anthropologists down the ages have conditioned us into accepting that men are ‘testoteroned’ into cheating on their women! From the hoary caveman to the stylish Batman; there are as many rationales as adulterous men! Even the most beautiful of women (ask Jennifer Anniston and Elin Nordegren) have not been able to road block their men from straying. Ironically, that equals the odds for the entire female species, beauty no bar. But before we paint the male clan black, we must bow to the faithful few. Unfortunately, they neither grab eyeballs nor get discussed; that is the prerogative of the two-timers. We got a few opinions on this ‘oh so male affliction’ and the one common thread was that men who cheat will do so irrespective of their partner’s looks.

While supermodel, actor and TV show host, Milind Soman generalises that, “Cheating is an expression of a person’s basic insecurity; a self-centred response having very little to do with external circumstance!” media professional and host of the show One life to Love, Simran Bhargava, reasons, “I think men are biologically hardwired to look at (and fantasise) about other women and to be able to do it without much emotion. Therefore ‘cheating’ may not mean as much to a man as to a woman. It is simply the nature of the beast that is man to look at other women and in times of vulnerability or when an opportunity presents itself, to perhaps succumb to temptation.”

Adding to the thought, Samir Soni, well known actor and show host, conjectures, “Cheating is an individual character flaw regardless of how the partner looks. Men are known to be ‘serially monogamous’ and the whole concept of ‘till death do us part’ is more of social conditioning.” Agreeing, fashion designer Rina Dhaka emphasises, “Men cheat, period. For them it is about prowess and impressing guy friends with their conquests. Many men fail to look beyond beauty and the physical aspect making it an uphill task for beautiful women.” Another designer, Sanchita Ajjampur muses, “In the long run, it is not about cheating on your beautiful wife, but living with what you have done!”
But turning male swagger on its head, Anuvab Pal, playwright, stand-up comic and columnist, offers a contrarian viewpoint, “If you’ve got a beautiful woman, you have to work hard to keep her. Typically, the woman will be clever and attractive whereas the man will be reasonably successful and hideous or wealthy and fat. It’s not enough to be an only son, inheriting the family business. You need to be well read and reasonably well groom-ed. It is the survival of the fittest!”

Why men cheat: Doctorspeak
Cheating on a beautiful woman or otherwise, is a sign of communication breakdown between partners. Traditionally, conditioning dictated that women sought men for achievement while men sought women for their looks. Men were at an advantage as achievement stands the test of time whereas aging takes its toll. But today, though women value relationships more, they also stray into (emotional) affairs even when married to hot-looking men. So now it is no longer restricted to why men cheat on their beautiful wives; one can also ask why women with great husbands cheat on their spouses.

A socio-cultural analysis provided by Ameeta Sanghavi Shah, psychotherapist and relationship expert