Friday, July 30, 2010

MOVIE REVIEW;-ONCE UPONA TIME


Cast: Ajay Devgn, Emraan Hashmi, Kangana Ranaut, Prachi Desai, Randeep Hooda
Director: Milan Luthria
Rating: * * *

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there lived a young police officer in Mumbai, Agnel Wilson (Randeep Hooda). He was a decent sort who wanted to do good and brave things. But one sultry night, Agnel and his white Ambassador were fished out of the sea. “Suicide”, his colleagues whispered. Agnel didn’t say a word. Then, a senior cop took him to his chamber and asked, “What happened?”

There were bomb blasts in Mumbai (1993) and Agnel blamed himself. He then took a deep breath and went into flashback. Many years ago, a boy named Mirza arrived in Mumbai in a fish basket. An orphan, he worked on the docks where he sometimes helped smugglers. But his main concern was to help the needy, asking for just one thing in return: “Kindly remember me in your prayers.” Many people across Mumbai remembered him in their prayers and that is why he soon acquired the epithet “Sultan”. Sultan Mirza (Ajay Devgn) grew up to become a principled smuggler.

Those were the days when India was under Licence Raj and men like Vardhan (Ravi Khanwilkar) and Sultan had taken it upon themselves to provide people what the government was denying them — watches, two-in-ones, gold et cetera. Over biryani and tandoori, Sultan divided the city of Mumbai amongst smugglers, keeping the docks for himself. Soon Sultan had a Mercedes, a police dossier and a reputation for charity. He then set out to woo Bollywood star Rehana (Kangana Ranaut). Rehana wore gaudy outfits and spoke as if her windpipe and cerebrum were clogged. But Sultan, infatuated, pursued her — first with a guava and finally by going on a diet of aloo-gobi. As Rehana began to return his tender feelings, Agnel introduced his clueless boss to Shoaib Khan.

Shoaib, the son of an honest Mumbai sub-inspector, was a plucky and ambitious boy who stole stuff and then counted the number of slaps his father administered. Nurturing dreams of ruling Mumbai, Shoaib (Emraan Hashmi) grew up into a small man with a grudge and a grunt. Shoaib liked Mumtaz (Prachi Desai), a salesgirl at a jewellery shop. Shoaib’s father, exhausted of slapping him, asked Sultan for help. Sultan gifted Shoaib a shop. Shoaib was pleased but his plan was to be a smuggler, like Sultan.

Now Agnel enters his own story. He joined Mumbai police and began his clean-up operation. His focus, erroneously, was Sultan. Thinking that Shoaib is a colleague’s son who can be used to fight crime and criminals in good time, he set out to piss off Sultan, but to little effect.

Meanwhile, Shoaib, after pulling an implausible smuggling stunt, became a key man in Sultan’s team. But, Agnel reminded his ditzy boss, I was after the wrong man. Sultan loved Mumbai and wanted to caress it... Shoaib wanted to ride it doggie style...

The one thing Milan Luthria-directed Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai can’t be accused of is romanticising the bad boys of Mumbai. He makes the world of dons so tension-free and dull that his is perhaps the most politically-correct rendition of the underworld to date.

As a period drama, Once Upon... sticks the right posters on walls and gets its car registration plates right. As a portrait of Mumbai of the ’70s and ’80s, when dons enjoyed cabarets and bet on horses, and rich ladies wore elaborate clip-on hair buns, it makes us nostalgic and happy. But that’s just the set. The film’s story, by Rajat Arora, has no originality or vigour. Though the film wants to create riveting characters, its heroes talk more, do little. Their constant jabber, hinting at how menacing they are, is plain braggadocio. They don’t do anything remotely interesting. These two dons are more likely to kill people with their long soliloquies than with bullets. The film’s best moments are when the dons are romancing women.

The film’s Haji Mastan and Dawood Ibrahim connect is underwhelming. Sultan as Mastan, the man who reflexively does the right thing, and Shoaib as Dawood, the man who aggressively pursues all that’s bad, use their muse only as a style dateline — to get their costumes and facial hair right. Not much attempt has been made to get under the skin of these characters. So instead of larger-than-life characters what we get are stale, shoddy miniatures. Sultan, a reluctant smuggler, talks and behaves like the head of a small charity organisation. The film accords him credibility as a do-gooder. But we don’t care for St. Sultan.

Though there are interesting shades to Shoaib’s character, like when he copies Sultan’s mannerisms and buys Mumtaz the Bobby dress only to take it off immediately, they don’t add up to create a compelling character worthy of our love or loathing. Shoaib never manages to get us interested in his affairs other than his relationship with Mumtaz.
Ajay Devgn only strikes spiritless poses and his chemistry with Kangana is the stuff bad socialite marriages are made of. Emraan Hashmi is all fury and passion and his cockiness demands attention. But he gets lost around men and guns don’t suit him. Brassieres are more his thing. Hashmi is best when breathing heavy and petting.

Once Upon’s songs are okay, but its grand, operatic background music that foreshadows what should have been interesting scenes or twists, is very ’70s, very nice.
Kangana Ranaut, who appears in stylish costumes and wigs, has given her career’s weakest performance here. But Prachi Desai, lovely and luminous, is charming. Though the ensemble of the supporting cast clearly had potential, no one is given so much as half-a-trait. Randeep Hooda as the narrator is vague and weak. His role is made worse by trite dialogues that are heavy on idioms and metaphors.

No comments: